Flattery and Friendollars

Have you ever had a “friend” who has something that you don’t? Have you ever had something your “friends” do not have but they desire? Welcome in the world of Friendollars, and yes you have known at least once, what Flattery is.

Let’s face it… together, so it doesn’t hurt too much.

Nowadays people is poor. Poorer than before. Favors are new cents. Interchange are new dollars. But big money is when you reach something big just through your “special friends”, your “Friendollars”.

You read it in the “SUCCESS” people. Every blog, every Instagram, every Twitter or Facebook of a Success Worshipper tells you in a way or another: give value to your friends.

You don’t need to have anything in the world, but the right friends. And they are totally right.

A Friendollar is someone who can make you travel, get in to the right club, make you a good review, support you when you need it in exchange of the same. You are a Friendollar when you do a favor unaware of the consequences, when you just help a friend without thinking if you’re making the right thing for him and for the others, and when you give away your friendship to people who hurt other people for excessive beliefs in spiritual or political or any kind of subject that makes you be against some other people different than you.

That’s why I took a vote of poverty at first. I had my quite decent sack of jingling friendollars once. Then I discovered this new religion’s sacrifice request for having this social money and decided to pass. I won’t tell anyone how great, wonderful, amazing, awesome he/she is if he/she doesn’t deserve it. I won’t take part of this deteriorated quality world where marketing is more important to substance. I won’t give my power, and I have, to people who doesn’t deserve it.

I’m not a good man for this. If you look around you whenever you see a bad thing, a bad product, a bad idea, spread all around the world, this happens because of friendollars. Because you don’t need to make something good right now, you just need to make it popular.

But, it’s not that you can really avoid being yourself or having friendollars and keep living in this world. It’s normal, it’s what has always been. In the end Friendollar is just one of the treasures of the Crisis that hit so hard all our hopes and beliefs in the future. The Awareness of this kind of relationship.

Friendollars have existed and always will. So, is it wise to just take a vote of poverty and decide to live outside society because of our values? Is it really fair to judge this like a negative feature or something that will make a difference in life of the poeple wether in a good or a bad way?

I don’t think so.

I think everything is about what is the source of your “Friendollars”: Envy or Awareness.

If you ever had something in your life, whether it’s physical or theoretical, people will envy you. You felt it’s weight on your shoulder at least once. Envy. There are two ways people will copy with this feeling: destroying you, or becoming your friend. You have been Friendollarzoned, buddy…

But there is a way to make good Social Money without abuse of be abused in the Friendollars World. A way to make it compatible with life and relationships. It’s the same as every “green” “environment-sustainable” “ecologic” concept we are becoming familiar with while mankind tries to learn how to live and prosper without killing ourselves in the process. Awareness. We have a value, an economical and social worth. And we can invest it. This is the best way to avoid use/abuse friendollars relationship.

There’s an ethic in Friendollars relationship, or maybe it’s just a way to transform Friendollars in just Friend. I discovered it when, during my vote of poverty, I saw myself in a mirror and decided I was too much influenced by my past to see the topic clearly. It’s true, it’s the longer path, but when you’re on it you’ll see it’s real advantage, not only in Friendollars, but in your life specifically.

I will give away just step 1: Stop flattering or underestimating yourself.

This is the first rule to become a real rich person in this world. We all have a value, we all have potential, we all are worth something. So it’s not you have to find people better or worse than you, you just need to find people with the right combination to complete and improve you own worth!

We are a treasure to the world, everyone of us, don’t you ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

lp

(Please don’t be shy, give a like, a share, or, most important of all, leave a comment with your experience or your thoughts about Friendollars. I’d love to read you and talk about it… 😉)

 

 

30 thoughts on “Flattery and Friendollars

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  1. È bello pensare che anche i rapporti di utilità possano diventare più profondi. Sarebbe bello se facessi uno di quegli articoli tipo “i 7 passi per…”. Anche se non ti piacciono potrebbe essere adatto per questo argomento 🙂

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  2. I hate flattery and people trying to take advantage of you!!! They’re a lot, lots of envious people!! I totally agree with your last words… we learn how we are important to others and how insignificant we’re at the same time!! Nice post!!!!! ❤🌎🔔🔔🔔

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  3. A volte ciò che è bello è anche triste. Finite le monete cannibalizziamo il cuore. Questo è il destino di chi vive senza onore. Sniffando successo oggi, ma finendo i suoi giorni tra vane parole e sorrisi di plastica. Amici, non dollari…

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    1. Amici, non dollari. Verissimo. Però è anche vero che l’idea di collaborare e rivalutare l’essere umano anche in termini di utilità, se accostata ad una forma umana di relazione, non è di per sè malvagio. In termini ampli la nostra importanza individuale è relativa rispetto a quella della maggioranza o di noi come specie, per cui c’è da valutare entrambe le cose. Certo, verissimo che chi sniffa il successo oggi si crea un mondo di parole vuote e falsi sorrisi… però io intendevo entrambi i concetti in termini più relativi e meno polarizzati come valore etico… 🙂

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  4. E un argomento attuale e ben sviluppato. Ci vuole fibra per resistere alla tentazione di manipolare gli altri. Prendendo le distanze da un’eccessiva valutazione di sé stessi da una parte o dall’altra ci si trova nella posizione di valutare le relazioni con maggiore distacco. Articolo interessante che offre molti spunti di riflessione.

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    1. Grazie mille Erick, sì la tentazione di manipolare gli altri viene spesso. E’ anche vero che la nostra società non impoverisce solo economicamente, ma anche in termini di sogni e obiettivi, che sono sempre più incanalati in cammini pre-stabiliti, per cui da un certo punto di vista anche la manipolazione diventa necessaria, una forma di difesa. Cosa che comunque è sempre stata presente nel mondo, insomma nulla di nuovo, magari con le reti sociali questo diventa solo più visibile.

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  5. To me friendollars are the people that lift us, that care and who are genuine. The ones that don’t do things for you because they expect something in return to fuel and feed their personal agenda.
    Envy is a dangerous thing tied to jealousy and it’s not always tied to material things only. You could be better looking (in their opinion) even though you carry yourself humble and you never come across as conceited. Still you lose because you become the enemy, a threat. You could be better at your job and get promoted first due to your excellent work ethic. You lose again because somebody will not see it as such due to entitlement. I try to see the silver lining even in that, in the jealousy and I try to help regardless of being stabbed into the back. But often it is a matter of pride for others and I’m not always allowed to do so. Yet each case is different if it does happen and I refrain from judgement by believing that it will have the same outcome. Everybody can be influenced in a positive way.

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    1. Wow my friend, that’s why I love speaking to you. You just make things so clear and always get straight to the right point! Yes I agree with you! And you know, you made me think and remember something… I worked with an NPO in Ibiza that created an utopic parallel economy system where currency was called ECO, a social money, generated by work not as defined by society (that gives a different label to certain works as if they where more important than others not on experience, but on cultural bases). The good thing about it was it was connected to the “mainstream economy” so it wasn’t a sect, it was known in the city and well seen, a lot of places used the double currency, Euros and ECOs. They have only two weak points: 1) people with high level profiles didn’t want to get involved as they think money is more important than exchange, and 2) when it comes to exchange the people with less money got in only to get the first money boost and than never produced a thing (when you decide to enter the organization they gave you like 100 euros worth ECOs, their social currency, to help you move economy and give you a fresh start, but than if you don’t want to work, you spend it and don’t move anything, neither yourself nor the economy). These two reasons created a deep crisis in the organization and when I left, their economy was totally crashed. When I got in I was one of those “high level” profiles and was welcomed warmly because 1 I brought my services at very low fares (of course, in ECO, their social currency, I actually want to change the world… that’s why I tried it) and 2 because as I said before normal professionals didn’t want to work for interchange as they want real money, so it was a boost for their image. There I found the perfect environment where to test this Friendollar theory (which is of course half-serious, you know me eheh). In that NPO you just have yourself as “money”, but it was associated with a good ethic: creating a better world where work is worth what is worth and not what the market say. It should have been a wonderful place to make people doing any job and being recognised at the same level (of course depending on experience, difficulty etc…). But what happened?
      People who needed something took the boost and never contribute (even if they where alway present in the meetings about “changing the world”, so apparently they were “active” in supporting the idea by words, but in with facts they just asked and never give back). On top of that, when these kind of subjects asked for my professional help they weren’t really looking for help, they were driven by the occasion of receiving help at a low price, but as they wasn’t actually “paying” anything, sacrificing anything, they seemed to never change. They where like zombies, taking things at their reach but with no intention of using it, just taking because they could.
      I see the same thing with friendollars when you do out of envy: You want something but don’t want to sacrifice anything to have it. You want to be lucky, to be better because the universe chose you instead of other. Work hard? No way…
      I always lived by the American Dream of the Self Made Man even if I’m Italian. So everything I have today is because I fought for it. I sacrificed a lot. A LOT. And I’m so damn happy of it as sacrifices are necessary to make wonderful things, things that matters. And a lot of people, friends usually, are envious when I do something great, or have something good in return of my efforts. Like I have it out of luck. They’re envious because they’re lazy and don’t have the will of fighting for what they like. A thing my people from Italy have a cutlural feature unfortunately. For instance I wrote about my promotion in English partly because I didn’t want my “friends” to get to know it unless they put some active effort in something like trying a language difficult to them. Because otherwise they just tell me “oh, how lucky!” or “How envious I am!” or “I want it too, give me a job with you”…. So when someone with this attitude want what is yours they act as friends to get near to you and sometimes they just “hope” that this can make them part of your success, they didn’t actually “do” something more than being friendly because they’re stuck with the idea that “luck” drives everything.
      The same in that NPO. People wanted the “mainstream” things, services, commodities, even luxury etc… but didn’t want to “pay” it neither with their own human and personal value, even if they where given a fresh new start being equal to anyone (sic!).
      Than if you go upstairs, where real success people are (i’m a fool, I’ll alway say that even if I do lot of things I’ll never have real success), you find the same dynamics, but at least, people actually “do” something to become friend and use/abuse other’s people powers playing Friendollars. That is at least something ACTIVE, so I could actually appreciate that because at some level there is an interchange, there is work and sacrifice to become friend with someone important.
      So i do believe people can be influenced positevely as you say, but then it’s their choice of accepting the influence or not. I think people like us have to avoid the more “stabbing” we can, first, because we bleed, we’re humans too, not super-women/men, and second because with the energy we save from trying to help people who is the only master of their destiny (even if they ask for help) we can live better and reach higher places, as we have the same right of living good as everyone else. That’s why I use three languages, I only speak about silly things, and count on my partial invisibility… I want the Friendollars you defined at the beginning of your comment, not the ones who sell for free their common-sense-based knowledge receiving a lot of attention for things that has low value but beautiful appereance. I want the Friendollars that has a worth and create occasions, that lift you as you said at the beginning in a balanced and genuine interchange. That’s my aim and why I keep the blog online. Because of the few really valuable people that you can meet if you’re true to yourself and keep fighting. People like you…. and that’s why i wrote this to you in an invisibile comment noone will read because I think you’re really a fighter like me and understand this. And who knows, I hope one day we can be Friendollars in the right way eheh… 😉
      Have a great day and thank you so much for creating something with me sacrificing your time to create a real interchange. :)🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow thank you for taking the time to get into this further. I’m filled with responses and I think you inspired a post I will write as soon as I finally get a day off hahahaha about the value of true friendship. I will go more into detail and I already know that we will agree on many points.
        It’s always a pleasure talking to you and I always feel very connected to you. Sometimes the people we have never met are some of the closest to us and you are one of those special and few people like that in my life. Thank you my friend. You are already my special friendollar and one day we will meet in person ❤️😉💐

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  6. Interesting read! Through the years I have learned that some friendship is only one way. And I stick with people if I know that they have no one to fall back on, I feel guilty if I too will leave that person. But eventually I am not good to me if I stay around with a person that is not good to me or for me. I believe that friendship has to be two ways. There are times I need them more and there are time they need me more. I rather have few very close and valued friends than loads of friends but they aren’t real. Also I am an introvert, so I rather have few very good qualities friendships.
    An other article to think about, I love to your read your blog. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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    1. Thank you to read it and to leave such a touching comment!I totally recognize myself in your words, as I think everyone should experiment these kind of friendhips at least once in their life, and I love the awarness you show with the senibility of not leaving somone that maybe has in you his/her only resource. But yes, it’s totally true that friendship has to be two way, and if I may, it may be helful to know that even for those who “need” that one way friendship is more useful someone who stands and doesn’t accept it than someone who shows empathy. They can find thir own way if only they have the chance to show themselves they can, even if that means passing through a moment where people leave them alone not accepting a oneway friendship. I’m sorry I got to back you late, but I’m on a job travel for a coaching project and have little time for the blog, while I wanted to reply to you with all the time you deserve. I don’t like to give little replies to people showing real emotions, so I may need a while, but i will always reply well to a good comment like yours! Thank you for your time and have a great day!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for taking time. Always appreciate that. True, that is why I stick around longer with a person when others have given up on. But I have learned to draw a line to protect myself. And sometimes is letting go that person the best thing you can do for that person. Is always difficult and delicate moments. I learned people come and go in my life and from each of them I learned something. Thank you for your compliment. Wish you a great day too.

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